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Like a woman showing up to her first day at a new job, trying to fit in or maybe just trying not to be a target.God, you were gorgeous.I knew there was more. I knew what was hidden behind that cute facade of purity. It’s the same look I see staring back at me in the mirror. A mask for pain, and the shamefulness of foolishly falling in love more times than anyone has fallen for me. A hiding place for the empty feeling of laying in an open field, alone. Gazing up into the cold, starry night sky and wondering, like a child, who else I share it with.No, looking in isn’t always an easy place to go.By calculated chance I ended up next to you and we exchanged nervous banter. We played the games lovers play. Lame pickup lines and ‘What’s your sign?’ to break the awkward ice. Eventually, the stones I had piled around my heart began to roll back, and I knew you would see the scars.I smiled clumsily and offered you a shot of bourbon, to calm you, dull the edge so to speak. You swallowed it back. We were both exhausted. I got into bed intending to say I had come home ill, took a pill to open my bowels, and begged in a pot that night to keep up the sham (there was no closet in the house). As the street-door bell rang I was in my night-shirt, standing by her side, trying to frig my prick up to standpoint. In bed I jumped, downstairs bolted she. In ten minutes it was, "Don't make that noise, I have a billious headache." I never closed my eyes that night, could scarcely believe what had occurred, and tossed and tumbled, thinking of the pleasure I had had. Though we had been nearly eight hours doing nothing else, it seemed not an hour. How often I fucked her I don't know, it seemed as if I was at least half of the eight hours up her cunt, which is absurd; but it was one of my greatest feats in the fucking line, the longest and most pleasureable.Next morning, haggard, jaded, worn out, the billious attack got the credit of it, I laid abed all the morning, and went out late. When at.
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